by Suresh Bakshi
Hello again, dear readers! I'm happy to welcome Suresh Bakshi to Indian Chai Stories. Here are two delightful pieces he has written from a visiting "company sahib's" point of view. Looking forward to reading many more tales from you, Suresh!
The Clarification
None of us noticed the expenditure being debited under CAT Account; presumably because the tea estates were going through an unusual year of high profitability and the expenditure so debited was relatively insubstantial. Till of course the boom subsided and cost control became the operative word. None of us in the Head Office knew anything about this 'CAT account.
Coats and Trousers ? - uniforms for the hospital staff perhaps - Cutters and Tools? Carpenter and Timber? Coal and Tar? These were some of the names the abbreviations suggested.
Matters of import necessitated a visit upcountry, and after visiting the tea growing areas and the factory, Tim Monroe - the Estate Manager - and I sat in the office. I mentioned to him the decline in prices, the stagnant crop situation, the increase in both labour and material costs and that the Board, polite as ever, had nonetheless made it clear that profit projections had to be realised. We mulled over various problems and finally agreed that profits as budgeted could be achieved by effecting savings on non essential expenditure.
After the day's work was done Tim and I were in the Bungalow, he enjoying a whisky soda and I a beer and in passing I mentioned, ' Forgive my ignorance Tim', I said 'In all these many years its only now that I have learnt of the CAT Account. What expenses are these - Would you be knowing off hand ?!
A puzzled look came over him and he hummed as he thought and took some time to answer. "Oh the CAT Account - expenditure for the milk and the fish - for the cats in the food-grains godown. They look after the rats you know".
"Oh come Tim," I said with disbelief "surely we can't be spending so much on fish and milk for the cats that eat the rats." Tim said he would check with the Head Clerk and clarify before my departure from the estate.
I stayed with Tim and his wife Bessie for three days and was served the most delicious milk based puddings and the most delectable and varied selection of fish dishes each day for lunch and dinner.
The Receiving End
I am emptying my office desk now; retirement has finally come. Some files have letters seen by none than me. Very private and confidential. Those not required by my successor are best destroyed; of this I think I will be the sole arbiter - I opened the file and I will be its destroyer. One is an old file opened some 30 years prior, the cover a mellowish brown and the papers darkened by age and by the gloom of their preserve.
Oh the naughty indescretions! These secrets are best destroyed and in they go to the shredder. I am about to destroy this particular letter but reader you may wish to share its contents. Old Tom Mackintosh of Morabund Tea Estate - dead for some years now, and the estate too sold. He had addressed it to me by name :
" I have to confirm my telegram of today's date reading 'Most urgent airfreight one dozen Aersol Insecticide Bombs, overrun by cockroaches'.
The above are required immediately to control the hoards of cockroaches and fleas which infect this Bungalow The condition of the cook house and surrounds is disgraceful. There is no excuse for the waste,ashes and debris of many months being left in the back compound. A tractor trailer has been working for a whole week and the area remains half cleared. Scavening dogs are in permanent residence.
A new kitchen range (Ray Burn) is required, the old stove being nothing less than a collection of burnt scrap metal.
The bungalow requires considerable repair. Many of the door choukats are rotted inside, only the paint and varnish holding them together.
The hollow spaces left by the rotten wood work and various holes are alive with cockroaches - Sunday's bag amounting to half a kerosene oil tin full. Four cold weather dresses which my wife left out to air last Monday were all eaten by Tuesday - some £50 worth in one night.
The previous Manager has left his trunks etc. locked up in the Bungalow godown, the key for which has been removed by his bearer, whereabouts unknown. Will you please give your immediate consideration and arrange immediate supply.
Is this your first visit here? Welcome to Indian Chai Stories!
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My name is Gowri Mohanakrishnan and I'm a tea planter's wife. I started this blog because one of the things that I wouldn't want us to lose in a fast changing world is the tea story - a story always told with great seriousness, no matter how funny - always true (always), maybe a tall tale, long, or short, impossible, scary, funny or exciting but never dull.