Four More Shots

Hello again, dear readers! I'm happy to bring you more stories by Dilip Syam - these four shots will have you laughing out loud. Thank you, Dilip, for a most enjoyable read! Waiting for more!

by Dilip Syam

'Bhejai Daw'

Unwritten law in the tea garden which still runs true to this day is that all garden sahibs and memsahibs must speak and communicate with the tea garden workers in Hindi -- native language for the workers. It was the garden dastoor (standard practice/custom of the gardens). Now that can be quite a significant challenge to me and non-hindi speaking sahibs, who with diverse background and cultures have never known Hindi, let alone how to converse in the language, prior to working in the tea gardens. Of course, we all learnt Hindi or specifically garden Hindi, through our interesting escapades with the language.

This was also true and a hard lesson for a newlywed demure Bengali bride of a colleague, who had just come from her native place in Shantiniketan. One winter evening the newly wed couple invited a few of us to their bungalow for tea & evening snacks. We were all enjoying the warmth from the fire lit in the fireplace with our backs facing the main door. Slowly with the evening setting, the cold air from the open front door started drifting in.

Our host called out to his wife and asked her to tell the bungalow bearer to shut the door. Caught unawares and needing to pass the message to the bearer, she told him, “Bahar se Dorja thu Bhejai Daw” (“close the door from outside” literally translating the message from her native Bengali). He looked at her perplexed and worried and then went away. Suddenly we felt a gush of cold and then we saw water flowing down from under the door and into the room. We were stunned as it wasn’t raining yet the water was flowing in.The host looked at his wife and called out to the bearer. He came panting and had a bucket in hand with water filled to the brim. On being asked what he was doing, he said that Memsahib had told him to wet (bhejai) the door (dorja) from outside (bahar se) and he obviously needed a 'Balti' - a bucket - to do exactly that. Of course, he did not understand why she said it but he only did what he was told to do by Memsahib.

The poor newlywed couple felt very embarrassed and stunned but after a while burst out laughing aloud.We all looked at each other in unbelieving silence and then suddenly we all burst out laughing. We mustered up some courage and congratulated the hostess on her excellent Hindi. She too burst out laughing and found it hilarious. She agreed that she better learn Hindi at the earliest or else we might have many such escapades at her expense. She said she would feed us dinner if the whole experience was never shared ever at her expense. Well we all solemnly agreed, and I promised that it would only be shared if I ever wrote a book and she agreed to it knowing very well that the book would never see the light of the day. Well, little did she know and here we are- sharing another garden Hindi misadventure with you.

 Cow Eats Coal

Cows are revered in the tea gardens especially as people feel they have supernatural powers. People offer prayers to cows and celebrate any auspicious occasion by buying new calves for the homes.

One such story which shows the extraordinary ability of Indian cows is shared below with you.

There was once a huge and sudden shortage of coal in the garden factory and there were no plausible explanations for it. Unable to find any solution to this scarcity, the manager notified the head office in London.Finding the whole matter strange and suspicious, the senior management sent 3 auditors to visit the garden to investigate the matter at the earliest. The worried manager called his head factory babu and informed him about the auditors and shared his concern about the whole sudden shortage of coal. The head babu was a senior member of staff and very experienced. He asked the manager for Rs 100 and told him not to worry and not to visit the factory for the next couple of days.

On the third day, the manager went to the factory with the visiting auditors and went to investigate the coal storage area. They were all surprised by the sight of 50 cows happily eating and munching away at the coal stored on the ground.The investigating auditors could not find any clue for shortage but reported the findings -- immediate requisition of fund for making proper fencing of coal storage area, as Indian cows eat coal. After the auditors left, the manager asked the head factory babu about the cows. The factory babu said that the Rs 100 went towards the purchase of 50 kgs of molasses which was mixed with water. He poured and covered the entire coal stock with the molasses.He gathered the cows from the local labour lines and had them ushered into the coal storage area just prior to the visit of the auditors. So, when the visit happened, all the cows were happily eating away all the sweetened water off the coal.

Manager was hugely impressed & factory babu was rewarded with three increments to his salary for his bright idea which saved the day! Thus came the story that Indian cows eat coal, and this can,of course, only happen in the tea gardens.

'Saram' :-

At the beginning of my tea career when posted at Khaspur - out division of Urrunabund T.E.-  I was almost physically assaulted one day because of my poor knowledge of a specific tea garden Hindi word & its real meaning. Generally tea pluckers as per their understanding feel - a tea basket must be fully filled with leaves in order to make it compact for higher weight, so that they are paid higher. In order to make it compact they usually jump on these fully filled baskets after putting the leaf in it. Seeing this I told a lady plucker “Didn’t they have SARAM (meant ‘shame’ in Hindi), jumping on the leaf!!”

After weighment exercise finished, I noticed some lady pluckers were surrounding me in a threatening mood, demanding an apology for using a dirty word SARAM which means RAPE in garden Hindi. Fortunately the field staff understood what I had meant & explained to all who were in an aggressive mood. Since then I learnt my lesson - not to use any Hindi word (especially with a local langauge association) without actually knowing the meaning of that word !!!

 Five A Side football

All my colleagues were very sports minded & we used to play all kinds of games such as cricket, football, golf, volleyball, tennis and badminton. Our children, along with other assistants' children (all between 5 –18 years) had assembled during their holidays & used to make their parents' life miserable with their antics. Once these boys' team challenged their fathers for a 5 –a-side football match supported by their mothers. Fathers team accepted the challenge & fixed a date. When we went to the field, we found quite a lot of spectators which included our wives, labourers, and staff with their families. When game started with our 2nd Clerk as referee we noticed 95 percent were supporting the boys team, sledging & shouting at us. In fact the wives were very vocal & aggressive. Half time ended goalless.

 At half time we noticed that all are surrounding the boys team encouraging them & no support for fathers team. Also noticed referee was talking with ladies. Two goals in favour of fathers team were disallowed by the referee earlier. Closer to match, fathers team scored a goal with the boys responding  in the dying minutes. Before the penalty shoot out  there were arguments & suddenly referee was noticed running away to save his life as the ladies were running towards him with chappals in hand. There was total chaos in the field, match was abandoned, but we all enjoyed the tamasha with all the fun & frolic that can be seen in the tea gardens only.

Meet the writer:  

Dilip at the Koomber office

Dilip Syam is a seasoned tea planter with over 40 years experience in the lush tea gardens of Assam and North Bengal and across borders too. Eldest of 3 siblings, Dilip and his sisters were raised by his mother singlehandedly after the loss of their father at the tender age of 7years. His maternal uncle played a significant role as a father-figure guardian of the young family. Dilip was a keen sportsman since youth and even had dreams of serving the nation in the defense services. He was honored to represent his state as a NCC cadet during the Republic Day Parade in Delhi on 26th Jan’1960. Unfortunately, family responsibilities took precedence and Dilip started his career in Tea in 1962 (4th generation in Tea following in his father’s footsteps).

Dilip started his journey in tea as a Trainee / Executive Asst. Manager with M/s. PC Chatterjee Group and grew slowly and steadily in his career. He joined Koomber Tea Estate in 1967 then a part of M/S Jatinga Valley Tea Co. (London) & in 1975 it came under Koomber Tea Co. Ltd. (part of Goodricke Group of Companies, incorporated in India). He covered multiple roles in India and Bangladesh with Goodricke Group of Companies. He finally retired as the Managing Director of Koomber Tea Co. Ltd. in 2004.

During his professional stint, he received many recognitions & awards – most notable ones being ‘The World Aware Award for Social Progress -1995’ from Her Royal Highness Princess Anne in London for his role in Goodricke Group, ‘Bharatiya Udyog Ratan Award’ under IEDRA (Indian Economic Development & Research Association) from Govt. of India in 2001. 

Dilip has decided to pen down his adventures, stories and learning spanning his life as a tea planter for people to laugh with him. Every one of us has a story to share and his Chai Bagan stories are an attempt to make people enjoy the lighter side of life and experiences, especially the new generation of tea planters and his granddaughters. Dilip believes that without the support and patience of his wife, Shipra and family, his stories may not have seen the light of the day. 

Is this your first visit here? Welcome to Indian Chai Stories! 

Do you have a chai story of your own to share? Send it to me here, please : indianchaistories@gmail.com. 

 

My name is Gowri Mohanakrishnan and I'm a tea planter's wife. I started this blog because one of the things that I wouldn't want us to lose in a fast changing world is the tea story - a story always told with great seriousness, no matter how funny - always true (always), maybe a tall tale, maybe long, short, impossible, scary, funny or exciting but never dull. You will find yourself transported to another world! 
 
Happy reading! Cheers to the spirit of Indian Tea!
ADD THIS LINK TO YOUR FAVOURITES : 

https://teastorytellers.blogspot.com/

 

Four Shots

by Dilip Syam

Hello again, dear friends! Please welcome Dilip Syam, who has written four very entertaining "chotta" stories for all of us. Dilip writes that he "has decided to pen down his adventures, stories and learning ...for people to laugh with him. His Chai Bagan stories ..attempt to make people enjoy the lighter side of life and experiences, especially for his granddaughters and for the new generation of tea planters."  

My first day in tea!

Before joining tea, I had had some exposure to the Hindi language. When I heard prior to joining the tea industry in 1962 that Hindi is generally spoken as a medium of communication in the tea gardens* between the staff and workers and the tea management, I felt confident that at least I knew and could speak the language even though I might not be extremely fluent. However, I had a rude awakening and dent to my confidence in Hindi very soon.

On my first day at work as a Trainee Assistant Manager, under a British manager, Mr. Macgeah, I reported sharp at 8am to the Garden Office & was waiting patiently at the assistants' room to meet my new boss and report to duty. After a while, the office peon of Burra Sahib(manager) came to me and said- “Burra Sahib Nuton Sahib ko salaam diya”.

Well, in my head, Hindi translation meant–‘Burra Sahib is saying hello to new sahib (me)’& I immediately replied to him “Burra Sahib ko hamara salaam doh”. The office boy was shocked. He repeated himself again and I again responded in the same manner. I told him to tell this to Burra Sahib. He kept on coming back and forth with the same message-“Burra Sahib Nuton Sahib ko salaam diya.”This went on two-three times &I noticed both peon & other assistant managers were watching me and listening to the conversation and mysteriously smiling to themselves.

After the fifth time, a six foot tall English gentleman stormed into the room and said, “Who the hell has come & has the audacity to ask for me”.

 I stood up trembling with fear & said “Sir I am not from hell but from India only”. 

At this moment the assistant manager interjected and took charge of the situation and explained the comical situation & told the manager that the new assistant(me) did not know the meaning of “Salam daw” which I should have learnt. 

He then explained to me that “Salam daw” in garden Hindi means “you have been summoned/called”. The manager had a hearty laugh. I sheepishly joined in but was mortified and still trembling from my own experience. I did not know if I still had a job or would be sacked even prior to joining.

I was still trembling, and Burra Sahib literally pulled me to his room. He was still laughing and took it in the right spirit and thankfully I still had a job at the end of our meeting. Since then,I earned the nickname of being called by my colleagues as “Salam daw sahib” during my initial training days!!! Well, I don’t mind the nickname, at least I still had a job.

*This tradition of speaking Hindi still continues to date. 

Dilip and Mrs Syam at the Lawrie Plantations PLC Office in Kent

Time - GMT - Have you heard of it?

If anyone asked you what GMT means, well like most people you would automatically think about the 'Greenwich Mean Time,isn’t it? Well let me tell you a story where you will come to see another meaning to it!! And I must take you with me travelling over time to the period where I had just joined my first job in the tea gardens as a fresh graduate just out of university, happy to get a job as an assistant manager. I thought this was the best thing in the world,my life of financial independence begins here. I was excited as well as nervous about the new way of life,language,lifestyle and there was me as an eager freshman.

Within a month of joining,I had my first shocking exposure to the garden lingo(bhasha). My manager in Urrunaband TE* told me that every Saturday,we must go to the club day at Happy Valley Club in Koomber TE which was about 15 kms away. He told me he would give me a lift and to be ready at three pm. I had just finished my lunch at 1:30 pm and with ample time, planned on a quick afternoon siesta (I had so much time so why not). 

Suddenly at 1:50 pm,I was woken up abruptly with a blaring car horn blowing at the gate of my bungalow. I looked at my watch, saw it was not yet three pm and went up to the gate to check out the commotion. Well, it was my manager, and he wasn’t happy to see me not ready. Without speaking a word, he glared at me and turned around and went away. I thought well he will come back again at three pm.I really couldn’t understand what had happened and/or what I had done wrong. I changed and waited and waited. Three pm came and went and still my manager did not come.

The next day when I reached office,I had a message from my manager to come and see him immediately. I had all my nerves telling me, I shouldn’t be worried, I had done nothing wrong. In fact,he had stood me up, not coming at three pm as agreed.

When I went to his office, he gave me a stern look and asked me for my watch. I gave him my watch and he took it and changed the time and moved it forward an hour! He then told me, that while I was working in the tea gardens, I needed to learn and work by GMT (Garden Manager’s Time) and not IST (Indian Standard Time). I needed to accept it now as my new way of life and adapt to it if I wanted to have a job in the garden. I came to know that most of the tea gardens in Assam maintained GMT -one hour ahead of IST, and that was it!

This GMT episode (45 years of tea life later) and my watch has shown me a lot of embarrassing situations throughout my tea life. People often stared at my watch if ever in view and often get confused and recheck their own watches too, just to ensure that their watch was still working. Sometimes I enjoyed the laugh and at other times, feeling guilty- I reassured them that their watches were working fine- just not mine!

 By the way, I hope I mentioned that my first episode with GMT got me penalised by my manager with a month-long night duty in the tea factory for not being ready on time for my boss ontop of regular normal field duty. Double whammy and thus I dare not forget the significance of GMT.

*in Cachar

 Three golden tips for success in tea

So thus begins my 45 years career in the tea industry.I learned to live, breathe and drink tea and today I can say proudly that I had a great life as a tea planter and built my expertise in it.

When I joined the tea garden, many seniors advised me and shared their worldly advice and tips - they advised me to learn three things at the earliest to be a successful planter. Today I am sharing those three tips with you which I was given almost like a mantra for success.

Learn to play bridge (card game for foursome) which can take up most of your day, mind and concentration and believe me when I say they can get very competitive even though it is the least physical game).

I was fresh out of college, no knowledge of cards or the world of bridge. I did try my utmost, bought books, asked my colleagues to teach me but poor me failed miserably. Everyone I played with was kind but at the end, it was more to save themselves a sad loss in the game, my seniors decided to spare me my misery of trying hard. I just did not have the concentration for bridge and almost after a couple of years of trying hard still could not progress further than a beginner. I retired from the game without the slightest regret.

Play tennis and golf- There was me, having had no exposure to either of the games before this new life I had joined,and eager to learn and be accepted in my tea fraternity, gave it my best shot. I picked up tennis quickly and learned to play the game fairly well, even to the extent of representing my club and fraternity in many events over the years. I even played against Bangladesh tea fraternity in Dhaka. There ends my success story with games. Golf was another extreme for me. I tried several times to learn and understand the game. I was lucky enough to spend quite a few years living a stone’s throw from Happy Valley Golf club in Koomber Burra Bungalow, but there ended my stint and experience with golf. 

My boss had even gifted me a golf set, but it never saw the light of the day unfortunately at least not with me. He made me shadow him often during his own games to inspire me, but it just didn’t motivate me. I was happy to encourage others to play the game. My sons picked up the game like fish in water and Subro, my eldest, even played and won several tournaments at Tollygunge Golf Club in Kolkata in years to come and made me proud becoming Junior Golfer of the Year in 1996/1997. My youngest son, Devjeet, and son-in-law Rahul are keen golfers too and still make me proud with their prowess and interest in the game,but I cannot say with any certainty if tea life had any part to play here.

The final mantra was ‘drink without getting drunk’. If one can command this aspect, they would be a true planter (as per the golden advice). I saw many of my burra sahibs and colleagues attain mastery in this art and believe me, it is an art and takes years and years of practice. When I started in the tea industry and tried to keep up pace with my colleagues, many times, I found myself more in the toilet throwing up rather than at the bar enjoying myself. I have had many headaches and hangovers trying hard practising the art of drinking and my wife and family have been embarrassed spectators but unfortunately, I could never become more than a social drinker without embarrassing myself and others around me. That’s my confession here, I decided after a few years of trying that dignity lies in a quiet dignified withdrawal from the race of becoming a great tea planter who can ‘drink like a fish’ and not ‘get drunk.’

So that is the story of my tea life-had all the mantras but never could be master of all the three. Did I ever become a true tea planter without these mantras? Well, that for you to judge and me to ponder - so late in life with 45 long tea years under my belt. Your guess maybe as good as mine!

Koomber T.E. Burra Bungalow in Cachar

 Hindi Rui

Well, I confess today that even if I have survived 45 years of garden Hindi and being a Bengali, feel I can understand a good level of Hindi fluency, if my children are to be believed, my Hindi is incredibly atrocious and embarrassing to them. My Hindi, they say, can make people turn in their graves! 

I often had important company guests visit me from Head office and often at short notice. My Managing Director, once decided to come at short notice. He had a particular liking for Barak River Rohu fish which was famous as a culinary delight. Due to the short notice ,my wife could not buy the Rui (Bengali for Rohu) fish. 

I tried hard to source it for my guest. I contacted the garden agent and requested him on the phone to send me good quality of 5 kgs of ‘Rui’ to the garden at the earliest for the MD. I advised my wife to expect the fish shortly. When I came back from work in the afternoon, she told me that no fish had come but there were two jute bags of cotton wool which had been delivered earlier. She asked me what I had told the agent and on questioning me further, I discovered that my Hindi (or lack of Hindi) had let me down(again)! 

The agent was a vegetarian North Indian gentleman and he literally translated ‘Rui’ to Hindi ‘cotton’ and sent 5 kgs of cotton in two bags in the next vehicle into garden. I was highly embarrassed, and my wife and kids just could not stop laughing. I asked my wife to send the cotton wool to the hospital.

On his  visit to the hospital, my MD enquired about such a huge sudden purchase of so much of cotton. I was embarrassed, confused and was still thinking about the appropriate response when the Medical Officer told me that the price of cotton was going up as such I might have ordered and stocked up. I  nodded sheepishly.While driving back in the car, I shared my story with my guest. He cracked up laughing at the story - the fact was my Hindi word of ‘Rui’ to my local agent was misinterpreted & misunderstood. ‘Rui’(cotton) was sent to the garden but not ‘Rui’(Rohu fish). 

I attempt very hard to think before I speak Hindi, but I still make silly mistakes with the language. I am a true Bengali who can speak Bengali-Hindi (if that could be a language). I am sure you have seen and heard many other Bengalis trying their hand at the delicate language of Hindi, well I am not proud to say, I belong to that group who is still trying to learn.

Meet the writer:  

Dilip at the Koomber office

Dilip Syam is a seasoned tea planter with over 40 years experience in the lush tea gardens of Assam and North Bengal and across borders too. Eldest of 3 siblings, Dilip and his sisters were raised by his mother singlehandedly after the loss of their father at the tender age of 7years. His maternal uncle played a significant role as a father-figure guardian of the young family. Dilip was a keen sportsman since youth and even had dreams of serving the nation in the defense services. He was honored to represent his state as a NCC cadet during the Republic Day Parade in Delhi on 26th Jan’1960. Unfortunately, family responsibilities took precedence and Dilip started his career in Tea in 1962 (4th generation in Tea following in his father’s footsteps).

Dilip started his journey in tea as a Trainee / Executive Asst. Manager with M/s. PC Chatterjee Group and grew slowly and steadily in his career. He joined Koomber Tea Estate in 1967 then a part of M/S Jatinga Valley Tea Co. (London) & in 1975 it came under Koomber Tea Co. Ltd. (part of Goodricke Group of Companies, incorporated in India). He covered multiple roles in India and Bangladesh with Goodricke Group of Companies. He finally retired as the Managing Director of Koomber Tea Co. Ltd. in 2004.

During his professional stint, he received many recognitions & awards – most notable ones being ‘The World Aware Award for Social Progress -1995’ from Her Royal Highness Princess Anne in London for his role in Goodricke Group, ‘Bharatiya Udyog Ratan Award’ under IEDRA (Indian Economic Development & Research Association) from Govt. of India in 2001. 

Dilip has decided to pen down his adventures, stories and learning spanning his life as a tea planter for people to laugh with him. Every one of us has a story to share and his Chai Bagan stories are an attempt to make people enjoy the lighter side of life and experiences, especially the new generation of tea planters and his granddaughters. Dilip believes that without the support and patience of his wife, Shipra and family, his stories may not have seen the light of the day. 

Is this your first visit here? Welcome to Indian Chai Stories! 
Do you have a chai story of your own to share? Send it to me here, please : indianchaistories@gmail.com. 

 

My name is Gowri Mohanakrishnan and I'm a tea planter's wife. I started this blog because one of the things that I wouldn't want us to lose in a fast changing world is the tea story - a story always told with great seriousness, no matter how funny - always true (always), maybe a tall tale, maybe long, short, impossible, scary, funny or exciting but never dull. You will find yourself transported to another world! 
 
Happy reading! Cheers to the spirit of Indian Tea!
ADD THIS LINK TO YOUR FAVOURITES : 

https://teastorytellers.blogspot.com/