Hello again, dear readers! I'm happy to bring you more stories by Dilip Syam - these four shots will have you laughing out loud. Thank you, Dilip, for a most enjoyable read! Waiting for more!
by Dilip Syam
Unwritten law in the tea garden which still runs true to this day is that all garden sahibs and memsahibs must speak and communicate with the tea garden workers in Hindi -- native language for the workers. It was the garden dastoor (standard practice/custom of the gardens). Now that can be quite a significant challenge to me and non-hindi speaking sahibs, who with diverse background and cultures have never known Hindi, let alone how to converse in the language, prior to working in the tea gardens. Of course, we all learnt Hindi or specifically garden Hindi, through our interesting escapades with the language.
This was also true and a hard lesson for a newlywed demure Bengali bride of a colleague, who had just come from her native place in Shantiniketan. One winter evening the newly wed couple invited a few of us to their bungalow for tea & evening snacks. We were all enjoying the warmth from the fire lit in the fireplace with our backs facing the main door. Slowly with the evening setting, the cold air from the open front door started drifting in.
Our host called out to his wife and asked her to tell the bungalow bearer to shut the door. Caught unawares and needing to pass the message to the bearer, she told him, “Bahar se Dorja thu Bhejai Daw” (“close the door from outside” literally translating the message from her native Bengali). He looked at her perplexed and worried and then went away. Suddenly we felt a gush of cold and then we saw water flowing down from under the door and into the room. We were stunned as it wasn’t raining yet the water was flowing in.The host looked at his wife and called out to the bearer. He came panting and had a bucket in hand with water filled to the brim. On being asked what he was doing, he said that Memsahib had told him to wet (bhejai) the door (dorja) from outside (bahar se) and he obviously needed a 'Balti' - a bucket - to do exactly that. Of course, he did not understand why she said it but he only did what he was told to do by Memsahib.
The poor newlywed couple felt very embarrassed and stunned but after a while burst out laughing aloud.We all looked at each other in unbelieving silence and then suddenly we all burst out laughing. We mustered up some courage and congratulated the hostess on her excellent Hindi. She too burst out laughing and found it hilarious. She agreed that she better learn Hindi at the earliest or else we might have many such escapades at her expense. She said she would feed us dinner if the whole experience was never shared ever at her expense. Well we all solemnly agreed, and I promised that it would only be shared if I ever wrote a book and she agreed to it knowing very well that the book would never see the light of the day. Well, little did she know and here we are- sharing another garden Hindi misadventure with you.
Cows are revered in the tea gardens especially as people feel they have supernatural powers. People offer prayers to cows and celebrate any auspicious occasion by buying new calves for the homes.
One such story which shows the extraordinary ability of Indian cows is shared below with you.
There was once a huge and sudden shortage of coal in the garden factory and there were no plausible explanations for it. Unable to find any solution to this scarcity, the manager notified the head office in London.Finding the whole matter strange and suspicious, the senior management sent 3 auditors to visit the garden to investigate the matter at the earliest. The worried manager called his head factory babu and informed him about the auditors and shared his concern about the whole sudden shortage of coal. The head babu was a senior member of staff and very experienced. He asked the manager for Rs 100 and told him not to worry and not to visit the factory for the next couple of days.
On the third day, the manager went to the factory with the visiting auditors and went to investigate the coal storage area. They were all surprised by the sight of 50 cows happily eating and munching away at the coal stored on the ground.The investigating auditors could not find any clue for shortage but reported the findings -- immediate requisition of fund for making proper fencing of coal storage area, as Indian cows eat coal. After the auditors left, the manager asked the head factory babu about the cows. The factory babu said that the Rs 100 went towards the purchase of 50 kgs of molasses which was mixed with water. He poured and covered the entire coal stock with the molasses.He gathered the cows from the local labour lines and had them ushered into the coal storage area just prior to the visit of the auditors. So, when the visit happened, all the cows were happily eating away all the sweetened water off the coal.
Manager was hugely impressed & factory babu was rewarded with three increments to his salary for his bright idea which saved the day! Thus came the story that Indian cows eat coal, and this can,of course, only happen in the tea gardens.
'Saram' :-
At the beginning of my tea career when posted at Khaspur - out division of Urrunabund T.E.- I was almost physically assaulted one day because of my poor knowledge of a specific tea garden Hindi word & its real meaning. Generally tea pluckers as per their understanding feel - a tea basket must be fully filled with leaves in order to make it compact for higher weight, so that they are paid higher. In order to make it compact they usually jump on these fully filled baskets after putting the leaf in it. Seeing this I told a lady plucker “Didn’t they have SARAM (meant ‘shame’ in Hindi), jumping on the leaf!!”
After weighment exercise finished, I noticed some lady pluckers were surrounding me in a threatening mood, demanding an apology for using a dirty word SARAM which means RAPE in garden Hindi. Fortunately the field staff understood what I had meant & explained to all who were in an aggressive mood. Since then I learnt my lesson - not to use any Hindi word (especially with a local langauge association) without actually knowing the meaning of that word !!!
Five A Side football
All my colleagues were very sports minded & we used to play all kinds of games such as cricket, football, golf, volleyball, tennis and badminton. Our children, along with other assistants' children (all between 5 –18 years) had assembled during their holidays & used to make their parents' life miserable with their antics. Once these boys' team challenged their fathers for a 5 –a-side football match supported by their mothers. Fathers team accepted the challenge & fixed a date. When we went to the field, we found quite a lot of spectators which included our wives, labourers, and staff with their families. When game started with our 2nd Clerk as referee we noticed 95 percent were supporting the boys team, sledging & shouting at us. In fact the wives were very vocal & aggressive. Half time ended goalless.
At half time we noticed that all are surrounding the boys team encouraging them & no support for fathers team. Also noticed referee was talking with ladies. Two goals in favour of fathers team were disallowed by the referee earlier. Closer to match, fathers team scored a goal with the boys responding in the dying minutes. Before the penalty shoot out there were arguments & suddenly referee was noticed running away to save his life as the ladies were running towards him with chappals in hand. There was total chaos in the field, match was abandoned, but we all enjoyed the tamasha with all the fun & frolic that can be seen in the tea gardens only.
Meet the writer:
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| Dilip at the Koomber office |
Dilip Syam is a seasoned tea planter with over 40 years experience in the lush tea gardens of Assam and North Bengal and across borders too. Eldest of 3 siblings, Dilip and his sisters were raised by his mother singlehandedly after the loss of their father at the tender age of 7years. His maternal uncle played a significant role as a father-figure guardian of the young family. Dilip was a keen sportsman since youth and even had dreams of serving the nation in the defense services. He was honored to represent his state as a NCC cadet during the Republic Day Parade in Delhi on 26th Jan’1960. Unfortunately, family responsibilities took precedence and Dilip started his career in Tea in 1962 (4th generation in Tea following in his father’s footsteps).
Dilip started his journey in tea as a Trainee / Executive Asst. Manager with M/s. PC Chatterjee Group and grew slowly and steadily in his career. He joined Koomber Tea Estate in 1967 then a part of M/S Jatinga Valley Tea Co. (London) & in 1975 it came under Koomber Tea Co. Ltd. (part of Goodricke Group of Companies, incorporated in India). He covered multiple roles in India and Bangladesh with Goodricke Group of Companies. He finally retired as the Managing Director of Koomber Tea Co. Ltd. in 2004.
During his professional stint, he received many recognitions & awards – most notable ones being ‘The World Aware Award for Social Progress -1995’ from Her Royal Highness Princess Anne in London for his role in Goodricke Group, ‘Bharatiya Udyog Ratan Award’ under IEDRA (Indian Economic Development & Research Association) from Govt. of India in 2001.
Dilip has decided to pen down his adventures, stories and learning spanning his life as a tea planter for people to laugh with him. Every one of us has a story to share and his Chai Bagan stories are an attempt to make people enjoy the lighter side of life and experiences, especially the new generation of tea planters and his granddaughters. Dilip believes that without the support and patience of his wife, Shipra and family, his stories may not have seen the light of the day.
Happy reading! Cheers to the spirit of Indian Tea!
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